


Murphy's Cops Law #15

by Python07



Series: Murphy's Cops Laws [13]
Category: Modern Family (TV)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Jay's old not dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3285392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Small fic based on Murphy's Cops Law #15: If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes some dumb civilian will pull along side you and ask for directions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Murphy's Cops Law #15

Jay was not lost. He just wasn’t exactly sure where he was. That did not mean he was lost.

“Jay, honey,” Gloria drawled sweetly from the passenger seat.

Jay didn’t take his eyes from the road. He held a hand up and grunted. “Don’t start.”

“All I’m trying to say is--”

“I’m not lost.”

Gloria shrugged and relaxed into her seat. Her Spanish accent grew thicker. “Fine.”

Jay’s phone vibrated against his hip. He glanced in the rearview mirror and saw his son, Mitchell, in the driver’s seat of the SUV behind him. He saw Mitch’s significant other, Cam, twisted towards the back seat checking on the baby. “Mitchell, I’m not lost,” he growled into the phone.

“Dad,” Mitch tried reasonably. “Let’s use the GPS.”

“No.”

“But--”

“We don’t need it,” Jay snapped and hung up. He almost threw the phone out the window when it immediately rang again. He saw his daughter’s name on the caller ID. He peered in the rearview mirror and could barely make out the car behind Mitch’s. “Yes, Claire,” he sighed.

“Dad, I know that you don’t want to hear this--”

“Not lost,” Jay interrupted.

“Alex map quested the route before we left. She says--”

Jay interrupted again. “We’re taking a short cut.”

“Come on, Dad.”

“I’ve made this trip before.”

“Yeah, twelve years ago and you got lost then, too,” Claire retorted.

Jay pictured her rolling her eyes just like his ex-wife. He barely refrained from yelling in frustration. “We’re fine,” he said as calmly as he could. “Enjoy the ride.”

Jay hung up and turned off his phone. He put the phone back in its holder. “Who’s idea was it to take a family vacation to Chicago anyway?” he grumbled. “It was Phil, wasn’t it?”

“No,” Manny chimed in from the backseat. “Phil and Claire voted for Vancouver.”

“Oh, yeah. It must’ve been Mitch and Cam.”

“No. Cam’s family invited us all to stay with them on their farm in Missouri, remember? I’ve never been on a real farm. I think it would be fun.”

Gloria turned in her seat to smile at her son. “Oh, Manny. Maybe next time they go to visit Cam’s family, they’ll let you come along.”

Manny sat forward. He grinned impishly at Gloria and then turned his best innocent look on Jay. “Chicago was your idea. You said you wanted to see the Dodgers play the Cubs.”

Jay eyed Manny. “Who asked you?” he retorted irritably.

“Hey, I want to see the game, too,” Manny said brightly. “I brought my glove and Manny dreads.”

Gloria winked at Manny. Then she planted her hand on his forehead and pushed him back into his seat. She shifted in her seat so her short skirt inched a little higher. “Jay,” she purred.

Jay couldn’t help glancing at her when she used that tone of voice. He saw her bare legs and whistled quietly. 

“Stop and ask for directions.”

Jay snapped his head back forward. “Evil woman,” he muttered. “All right.” He saw a sign for a gas station at the next exit off the highway. A few minutes later, he pulled into the parking lot.

Gloria grinned at him and pointed to two police cars parked in front of the convience store. “You can ask them.”

The large family poured out of the three vehicles. Jay left them chattering excitedly and went inside. He looked around and saw two cops in brown uniforms laughing with the clerk behind the counter.

The taller cop’s booming voice filled the small store. “How about this one. If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes some dumb civilian will pull along side you and ask for directions.”

Jay stopped short. He turned on his heel and headed back towards the door. He stopped his three grandchildren, who were old enough to walk, and ushered them back out.

“Grandpa, I want something to drink,” Haley complained.

“Me, too,” Luke whined.

Alex bounced on one foot and then the other. She looked at him pleadingly. “And I need to go to the bathroom.”

Jay held the door for them. “All right. Make it quick.”

Manny ran in behind them. “Nature calls.”

Jay walked past Gloria, who was standing in front of the car. “Well?” she asked teasingly.

Jay waved that off and went around to the side of Mitch’s SUV. Cam had just finished changing Lily’s diaper and Mitch went to throw it away. Cam straightened up, holding a giggling Lily.

Jay held his arms out. “Let me hold her for a second.”

Cam smiled. “Okay.”

Lily giggled louder when Jay made faces at her. “How’s she doing with the drive?”

“Good.”

Jay leaned close and lowered his voice. “Now, how does the GPS work?”


End file.
